A Tourist in Prague

Prague. Capital city of the Czech Republic, historical capital of Bohemia, and the country’s largest city, home to about 1.3million people. That’s just over double the size of Manchester – so it’s a big city with small city vibes.

It’s packed full of beautiful buildings; it’s like taking a trip to the past as the majority of the city centre retains its historical architecture and cultural attractions, many of which didn’t blow up in the turbulent 20^th Century.

I’ve been before, over 5 years ago in 2017, just after a break-up, when my good friend Callie agreed to house me for a few days whilst living there. I think that trip actually kinda pushed me into writing travel blogs, as a few months later I finally got myself a website and started writing. But I never wrote about Prague, mostly because I have a memory like a sieve and forgot most of the details.

So I suppose this blog is over 5 years in the making!

This time there was no Callie to visit, no Rob and Tash to meet up with part way through. This was to be my first ever solo holiday. It was a little daunting, but Callie was on hand to help me out via text. Muchos gracias for that…

Also a big thank you to Jack who offered to drop me off at Manchester Airport…

As those of us who use Manchester Airport know, they are bastards for charging people. To be dropped off directly outside the Terminal is £5 for five minutes, £6 for 10, and £25 if you overstay that. Greedy, greedy bastards.

However if you’re using Terminal 1, might I suggest you get yourself dropped off outside the Clayton Hotel – it’s just a short walk across the road to the terminal and avoids the charges.

Thankfully for this 2023 holiday, my flights weren’t cancelled. On the plane to Prague I was sat next to two very attractive girls. Across the aisle there was a group of 30-something blokes CONSTANTLY staring over greedily. They weren’t lookers but they kept looking, and of course I kept thinking they were looking at me. Is this how it feels to be a woman? I don’t like it.

As if Prague knew I’d had a pretty turbulent few days, I was greeted outside the terminal by God’s promise that things will get better.

Callie told me to get the 119 bus right outside the terminal. Ticket machines are easily spotted and you can choose English if you don’t want to learn Czech. The 119 takes you from the airport to Nádraží Veleslavín, where you can catch the Metro or a tram to Prague city centre.

Don’t forget to verify your ticket in one of these machines!

You’ll find them outside Metro stations, on trams and on buses. Conductors sporadically get on the transport and check tickets. I saw a couple on the way home get caught and they had to pay 1000 CZK each – about £74 in total. When the ticket costs just 32 CZK (£1.19), you may as well just buy one. A ticket is valid for 60 minutes.

Eventually, after a while of getting confused by trams and metros, I arrived in Prague city centre. The tram I had wanted to get to Ujezd wasn’t running due to tramline works – that’s my excuse. So I had to walk for 15 minutes through Prague, and of course, it started pissing it down.

But finally I made it to my hotel and immediately jumped in the shower to warm up. Btw, the Hotel Roma shower was amazing, so warm and so powerful. I stood in it for longer than I needed.

Before me lay 5 nights in Prague, with absolute freedom to explore – except for Thursday evening when I would be seeing Holding Absence support Electric Callboy at the Hospoda Lucerna. First up…

Charles Bridge.

One of Prague’s most famous landmarks, the Karlův Most, or Charles Bridge as I will continue to call it in my ignorant English way, is the city’s oldest bridge with construction starting in 1357. It’s named after Charles IV, Holy Roman Emperor and King of Beohemia. After dropping my stuff at the hotel, I visited on a wet Tuesday evening, and I think this helped keep the crowds away.

Oh it’s a beautiful bridge isn’t it, with views of the riverside city lit up in lights. The cobbled footpath beneath you really adds to the medieval feel. That, and the bridge towers and Prague Castle on the hill above…

The next morning I woke up early, had my breakfast with lots of coffee (thank you, New York) and was out and about before 8am.

The early get-up meant I could again enjoy Charles Bridge with few people.

I just love, love, love having a famous landmark almost all to myself. I can’t recommend this enough.

I continued my wander through Prague Old Town, past more old buildings.

Modern buildings are built in steel and glass. I have to say, I prefer stone. It feels more permanent.

Eventually, my wander brought me to Staroměstské Náměstí, or the Old Town Square.

This place absolutely fills up with tourists as it’s a real hotspot for Prague. It features an old clock on the Old Town Hall that draws in tourists.

The Prague Astronomical Clock (The Orloj) was first installed in 1410, making it the third-oldest clock of its type in the world, and the oldest clock still in operation. At the top of the hour, a procession of the 12 Apostles appears in the little windows above the clock face. It’s worth a watch, and the best time to visit is 9am when the Square can be at its quietest.

As well as the clock, the Square features statues, monuments, and more old architecture, including the Gothic 14^th Century Church of Our Lady before Týn.

Whilst walking out of the Old Town Square I noticed my first Thai massage parlour.

There are loads of these in Prague, and I’ve been told that the locals do not use them – they are entirely aimed at tourists. Who knows what happens behind those doors. I never found out.

Next up on my little wander was the Lennon Wall.

Located across from the French Embassy, this wall has been decorated with love poems and anti-establishment posts since the 1960s, when Czechoslovakia was under communist rule. Following John Lennon’s assassination in 1980, an unknown artist painted his image on the wall and its legacy was born.

Today it features art directed at Putin’s invasion of Ukraine, and I also found Everton FC stickers – which is weird cos they don’t play in Europe…

I wandered back towards my hotel which is at the foot of Petřín Hill. There is a tram that can take you up if you’re not into walking.

But I can’t be taking shortcuts when a lot of my blogs feature hiking. I took the zig-zagging pathway to the top, and was rewarded with lovely views on the way.

The path leads you to the Hunger Wall, built in the 1360s by that man again, Charles IV. The Wall has a bastion to explore.

On the other side of the Wall there is a nice little viewing spot, with benches to sit on and watch the city.

It was midweek, so this was a lovely quiet spot to sit and do a crossword and chill. The sun had a slight, teasing warmth of spring but coldness returned when a cloud blocked the light.

After sitting for a while and getting my breath back cos I’m unfitter than ever these days, I headed up towards Petřín Tower.

It’s like a mini Eiffel Tower, and was once used as an observation tower. Nowadays it’s open to the public and you can go up via lift or stairs to view the city.

With clouds starting to take over the sky, I headed down past blossom trees that I bet will look beautiful in a few weeks or so…

I have a feeling my hotel, the Hotel Roma, is in an Italian section of Prague, cos there were pizza parlours and Italian restaurants in the vicinity. I decided to have some Italian food for tea, and discovered the Stromboli.

A soft pizza dough baked turnover with mozzarella, pork and other hams, it was absolutely delicious. Note to self: David, you need to visit Italy FFS. You love pizza, you love Italian food, just do it.

Whilst enjoying my Stromboli, the predicted weather finally hit.

I was thinking of wearing shorts this morning…

Sadly it had been drizzling beforehand so the huge flakes did not stick. But still, twas pretty.

Day 3 in Prague and the weather had improved, so I made my way up Petřín Hill again to relax with a book, a crossword, and many podcasts. You can’t really do this if you’re travelling with someone, and the freedom is very, very nice.

I whiled away the day and that evening headed into town for the Holding Absence gig. This was one of the reasons I had come to Prague. Holding Absence were supporting a bad I didn’t know called Electric Callboy at the Lucerna Palace, an entertainment complex with shops, music halls and bars. I’d visited the Hospoda (Czech for “pub”) Lucerna 5 years prior…

Ohh how slim I was, and how nice it was to be with company – whereas on this occasion…

Oh well. A lonely pilsner is better than no pilsner at all.

After a couple of pints, a couple joined me – he from Bristol and she from Bosnia-Herzegovina. They were also waiting to see a band at the other music hall in the building – alas, I did not have last minute gig mates. But they were friendly, and she was already hammered.

With Holding Absence supporting tonight, they played just their bangers and I really enjoyed the set. I was definitely the only one singing every word. I had been feeling a bit sad and apprehensive about going to a gig on my own, but it was alright really…

…Until I lost my phone.

The world stopped turning. Was I dreaming? Surely, I can’t have lost my phone. It must be in a hidden pocket I didn’t know I had… But no… I knew where it had been.

Not wanting to hand my coat into the cloak room, I had tied it around my waist. Between recording songs and taking photos I had fastened my phone in between my coat arm and my waist and it was pretty secure and easy to access. However, when the Holding Absence set had ended, I had rushed through the crowd, up the stairs and towards the bar. Somewhere on that trip, my phone had fallen out. I retraced my steps countless times but it was nowehere to be seen.

What was I going to do without my phone? In those few moments I realised I had no way to take photos for this blog, no way to listen to podcasts, no way to watch videos at night, no way to safely navigate my way back to the hotel, no way to contact home and tell them why I’d suddenly gone offline, no way to access my return flight tickets… With the strife I’d suffered before the holiday, I didn’t want my mum or my friends to worry that I’d acted on my sadness and done something stupid.

I went back and forth to the bouncers at the front door and the bar staff, asking if anyone had handed a phone in, and through very broken English they kept giving me bad news. I felt very helpless. Meanwhile, Electric Callboy had gone on stage and seemed to be absolutely smashing it, with electronicore rave and confetti cannons. I was gutted to lose my phone and gutted to be missing the gig.

I went to the Holding Absence merch stand cos I knew that guy would be English. His name was Ash and he kindly borrowed me his phone to ring mine, to no avail. Lucas Woodland, the lead singer of Holding Absence casually approached and chatted to Ash – it was THE PERFECT opportunity to say hello, tell him I’d come to Prague to this gig just to see his band, to get a selfie with him…. and I was almost in tears without my phone. What a disaster, but indicative of my life atm!

I decided to sit alone by the bar and wait for the gig to end so I could search the floor as people were leaving. It was a very sad moment, just waiting for the music to end. But I couldn’t settle, I kept getting up and searching the same paths in absolute desperation, before deciding to head outside, get some fresh air and wait.

I asked the doormen if I could get back in as people were leaving as I was still looking for my phone. The one English-speaking guy I had spoken to earlier stopped me, and then spoke to his colleague, who nodded.

“Have you found it?!” I asked.

“Yes.” He replied.

“What is on the screen?” asked the broken-English speaking doorman.

I had to think. It had been my ex but I had changed it and I couldn’t remember what to…

“Charles Bridge!”

And they headed back down into the club. But even then I didn’t allow myself to get excited. There was a language barrier and even as I was told that they were going to find their other colleague, I expected disappointment.

BUT THANK PRAGUE. Some beautiful, kind gig-goer had handed it in. The nightmare was over. I was so, so relieved and headed back down to try and enjoy Electric Callboy, but I had lost any chance of finding a spot where I could actually see the stage. When it ended, I headed back to Ash and thanked him for his help, and waited around to see if Holding Absence returned so I could meet them, but alas.

Lesson learned: DON’T BE A TIT, DAVID. SECURE YOUR BLOODY PHONE IN A SAFE POCKET WHEN YOU’RE NOT USING IT, YOU ABSOLUTLY MORONIC KNOBHEAD.

The next morning I awoke early again and headed over to Prague Castle.

The armed guards tell you that this is the home of the Czech president. In a hidden room somewhere inside are the old Bohemian Crown Jewels.

Nestled within the castle complex is St. Vitus Cathedral.

It is absolutely beautiful on the inside as well.

With the sun shining through the beautiful windows, it feels magical.

Entry is free, and you can pay to go further in. You can also pay for a prayer (10 CZK) and/or make a donation.

If you visit in December, you can find a Christmas market inside the castle complex, where you can sip hot chocolate or mulled wine.

There’s also an Easter market, which unfortunately I was too early for this time.

Seeing these Easter Bunnies tied up in bin bags was a little horrifying.

They look so sad.

After enjoying the view from the hill I made my way back down. The sun was warmer than yesterday and I was feeling sweaty in my big coat. I needed refreshment.

It was only 11am but, what the hell. It’s stein time somewhere.

One of Prague’s oldest pubs, this is Tavern U Krále Brabantského – try saying that when you’re sloshed. According to their signs, it is the oldest pub in Prague having opened in 1375 and sits on the “Royal Way” underneath Prague Castle.

Inside it feels medieval.

The staff are dressed in old-fashioned clothes – the women in dresses and the men in rags. Your drinks are brought to you and slammed on the table with a cry of “Na zdravi!” – which means cheers.

It’s a bit expensive in here cos it is a bit of a tourist trap, but hey I’m on holiday.

From Tuesday to Saturday, they put on a three-hour medieval show at 7pm, with table dancers, jugglers, beggars and swordsmen.

After just two morning steins I have to admit I was already feeling merry, so I left it at that and headed back out. Charles Bridge was much, much busier at this time.

As well as crowds, you’ll find street painters and vendors and buskers on the bridge if you wanna be ripped off.

Later that afternoon I crossed Legion Bridge (Most Legii) to visit Shooters Island (Střelecký Ostrov), a cute and romantic little island in the Vltava River. Here you can chill by the water and have an unobstructed view of Charles Bridge.

I thought I saw a beaver and got very excited. But it turned out to be coypu AKA nutria AKA water rats.

These cute little creatures are in abundance on Střelecký Island, but they are an invasive species, native to South America, so there are signs asking the public not to feed them – which the public were blatantly ignoring.

They don’t fear people, and they will come right up for you and actually beg for food, rearing up on their hindquarters and holding their front paws together. It is very cute and people fall for it.

Further upstream you can find the Dancing House by Jiráskův Bridge.

The house was built to resemble a pair of dancers, and was originally named Ginger and Fred after Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

On my final full day in Prague I dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and walked to Wenceslas Square.

Again, it was an early rise, and every single other person I saw on the street was in a coat. They must have thought I was a right idiot. It was chilly, but bearable, and I knew it would warm up – so joke’s on them.

Wenceslas Square is more of a boulevard than a square in truth. It is named after this man on a horse, the patron saint of Bohemia, Wenceslas I, Duke of Bohemia in the 900s. At the head of the square is the National Museum, housing nearly 14 million items.

It was nearly 9am and I kinda wished I’d brought a hoody to Prague. So I had a little wander around the many shops. Sadly, I couldn’t find anything that tickled my fancy, but prices are pretty decent in Prague compared to the UK. I found many tops on sale for like £3 and they were alright, just not my style.

I’ll be honest I spent the rest of the day in the Roma Hotel or in the park beside it, reading and listening to podcasts. The next day I went out to Charles Bridge in the morning and then sat in the hotel waiting for the time to return to the airport. I think 5 nights alone in Prague was one too many for me, especially as I’m the kind of guy who can spend all day out of the hotel wandering around and seeing the sites.

I usually have a rule that I don’t return to places I’ve already been to, as I like to always see something new. I’d broken that rule for this visit, and tbh I would break it again. Prague is such a beautiful city full of history, lovely people and cheap drink.

I’m sure one day there will be a Prague Vol. 3…