Brendan and I decided to go on a two-day driving holiday in The North. The proper North. It’s a part of the world I hadn’t really explored.
Today’s to-do list:
High Force Waterfall, County Durham
Lambley Viaduct, Northumberland
Sycamore Gap (Hadrian’s Wall), Northumberland
Dark Sky Park in Kielder Forest, Northumberland
BUT FIRST. I bought some new glasses last month. I use them for reading, not driving, but I wanted to see if they had had an effect on my long distance vision. I needed to test my eyes. There’s only one place in the world I could go.
Thankfully, unlike Dominic Cummings, my eyes were fine and I could continue my journey.
BALLS UP #1. Whilst getting out of my car, I stood in dog shit. My glasses didn’t help me there.
I could tell why Cummings was so desperate to break lockdown rules to come to Barnard Castle. It’s a posh little town. A lot of old people here.
And a castle, unsurprisingly. English Heritage members can enter for free, but I had cancelled my membership before I went to Thailand – as I didn’t imagine being back in England in 2020. Ugh, I won’t start whinging again…
I didn’t wanna pay the £6 entry fee and Brendan wasn’t fussed about going inside either. We were happy to look at the outside.
We followed the path skirting the wall down the hill. It brings you to the 16th Century Barnard Castle Bridge over the River Tees.
We walked back up the hill and by the Market Cross.
Built in 1747, it now serves as a tight roundabout.
The beautiful Bowes Museum. For £14 you can go in and marvel at paintings by El Greco, Francisco Goya, Canaletto and many other artists I’ve never heard of. I’m not that cultured. Brendan and I were here to see sights, not paintings, and it was time for us to leave Barnard Castle via the local Morrison’s where we bought a meal deal and some beers.
15 miles away from Barnard Castle is High Force. It’s another one of those waterfalls that people mislabel as ‘the biggest’. This claim is made because High Force has the largest volume of water falling over an unbroken drop when in full spate. It’s a popular attraction so there is a large car park where you can spend £3 to park. Admission to go and see the falls is £2.
BALLS UP #2. I had lost my debit card. I assume it fell out of my pocket when I left Morrison’s, who btw have an AWFUL helpline. I rang up, dialled to speak to the customer desk, got put through to an automated voice that told me to go online and hung up. WHHHYYYYY?
Thank God I had my Starling card, otherwise my budget for this road trip would have been 21p.
Thankfully, Brendan paid for me as I was sorting my life out.
The £2 admission gives you access to the north bank of the River Tees. You walk down the hill and get as close as this. Then there’s a locked gate with a “STRICTLY NO ACCESS” sign. On the other side of the gate is a path that takes you down to the water.
And that’s it. You pay £2 and you don’t even get close. Yet we could see people at the top of the falls.
We followed some signs through the woods to see if the path took us closer. It didn’t. We ended up back at the road and asked the admissions guy “WTF?” He then told us you can walk down the river to a bridge, cross to the south bank, and see the falls for free.
VID’S TOP TIP: Do NOT pay to see High Force. DO NOT DO IT. The biggest waste of £2 ever. Conning bastards.
We crossed at Saur Hill bridge. On the other bank, we joined the Pennine Way. From the bridge to the falls it’s a five minute walk.
There’s a much better viewing point here. Follow the Pennine Way and you’ll come to the top of the falls.
Dark waters. You wouldn’t want to slip here. Here’s Brendan risking his LIFE for a photo.
Was it worth it?
It was time to drive deeper into The North. A 35 mile drive to Lambley Viaduct awaited.
On the way, we stopped for a photo.
We parked at the South Tyne Trail car park.
Being an old railway line, the trail is nice and flat. We passed through Coanwood Station. A hundred years ago there may have been passengers on that platform…
First impressions of Lambley Viaduct… it’s pretty tall. I’m not sure you’d survive a cannonball into the South Tyne.
It was completed in 1852 (or ‘the Romans’ if you ask Brendan) and used by trains until 1976.
There are some funny place names around here. I’m sure we all know a few people who belong in THAT village…
Our walk back to the cars included invading a field of cows. I don’t trust cows – especially since Andy, Brendan and I encountered a mad one in Castleton.
Next up, a short ten mile trip to Once Brewed, a tiny, oddly named village on Hadrian’s Wall. At Once Brewed, there’s a pub called The Twice Brewed Inn, where we stopped for a pint.
Delicious. I ordered a pint and Junior had a half pint.
After tea we drove up to Steel Rigg car park, where – blessedly – the ticket machine wasn’t working. Free parking! From here it’s a 25 minute walk along the National Trust’s section of Hadrian’s Wall to the Sycamore Gap.
TWATS walked a section of the Wall last year for the British Heart Foundation.
A Walk Along The Wall
At the time, I didn’t appreciate the relevance of the Sycamore Gap until I’d got back on the coach. Fans of the 1991 Robin Hood will know it as the Robin Hood Tree.
Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman once rested by this tree nearly 30 years prior. Now it was our turn.
The perfect place to listen to Sycamore Tree by The Hunna.
We waited around as Brendan wanted a nice sunset photo. But the clouds weren’t playing ball. This was doubly bad, as our next destination was the Dark Sky area in Kielder Forest, nearly 37 miles away. We wanted some clear skies now.
We set off and Brendan did his usual speeding off into the distance act. The roads were pretty much empty. And they weren’t in bad condition either. It was actually a really nice drive. Until…
BALLS UP #3. THUMP. Not really my balls up, more the rabbit’s. One suicidal bunny decided to run out in front of my car. Thankfully, it was Thumper, not bumper, that took the damage. Still, a smidge traumatising.
Brendan and I convened by Kielder Water to walk down to see Kielder Column. I had a torch on my head.
I’m sure it looks decent in the daytime, but at that moment it just looked like a large turd.
We drove onto Kielder Observatory. Unfortunately, we had to park at the bottom of the hill. There was a sign saying “drivers with pre-paid tickets only”. So we walked up, hoping the sky would clear a bit.
BALLS UP #4. I revealed to Brendan that I had about 60 miles left of petrol. He reminded me we were about 60 miles away from our camping spot. And it was 9:30pm and petrol stations close at 10. I should have filled up back at the Wall. Oops.
I was a little absentminded on my walk up the hill. On the way we found the Kielder Skyspace.
It’s a sculptural artwork that I’m sure acts as a pretty decent refuge when the weather is awful. Visitors walk through the entrance tunnel into a large circular room with a hole in the roof, which focuses your attention on the sky. Google it. My night time photos don’t do it justice.
We continued on up to the Observatory. It was hosting a large group of people, so cos of Covid rules, we weren’t allowed to look around. The lady allowed us to stand in the car park.
The sky wasn’t really clear so we walked back down. It had been a good exercise at least!
Brendan and I drove in convoy until he headed up north to the Northumberland coast, and I headed back south to Hadrian’s Wall.
The drive was fraught with tension. Firstly I was stuck behind a convoy of cars determined to drive at 30mph in 60 zones. Secondly, I worried that the petrol stations were closed. What if Google was lying about them being open 24 hours?! What if Covid had changed opening times and Google didn’t know?! If the Hexham petrol stations were closed, I was close enough to venture into Newcastle, where SURELY there would be some all nighters.
Thankfully, I could fill up on petrol and a sausage roll in Hexham. My route up to Dunstan Steads now took me to Newcastle anyway to get on the A1. And my god, what a beautiful road that is. It was 00:40, the roads were smooth and clear. In the 40 miles from Newcastle to Dunstan Steads I overtook one car and saw nobody else. I had the windows open and the music loud to keep me awake, and it was blissful.
On the way into Dunstan Steads I saw four hares in the road. I’ve only ever seen two in my life. I pulled up behind Brendan’s dadcar and jumped into the passenger seat.
The plan was to wake up in four hours for a sunrise by the sea. I wasn’t confident in my ability to execute that plan.
#VidOnTour 