A Corona-Caused Quiet in Kampot

Before we could go to go to Kampot, we’d have to go back to Sihanoukville AKA Shitsville. And you already KNOW that means trouble…

The ferry purposely took us to the wrong port. It was supposed to drop us off at Serendipity Pier. We know this because we purposely booked a bus out of Shitsville that departed from the pier. But the boat dumped us at Sihanoukville Port, which meant we had to get a tuk-tuk across the city. And would you believe it? A load of tuk-tuk drivers were waiting for us. It was feeding time at the zoo. Coincidence? I think not.

After walking through mountains of litter, we found the drivers. We haggled one down as best we could but we had to get moving. In England, you’d write an email claiming compensation, or at least asking the boat company to cover your unnecessary taxi fare. But in Sihanoukville they don’t give a shit – they can’t, as all their shit is on the floor.

Our driver got us stuck. This truck had just parked in the road to dump stuff to the side. And there was a line of vehicles behind us. We were trapped. We obviously couldn’t get up onto the central bit cos of the metal rods. But of course, these roads aren’t finished – nobody should be driving on them.

Eventually the truck moved and we could enjoy inhaling dust again.

Throughout this trip we’d seen facemasks becoming steadily more common. At first, we’d just see them on the locals. Eventually, we’d see them on tourists too. Brits back home were desperate to get hold of them, when they were so abundant out here – and yet, Andy and I hadn’t bothered to buy one.

In this dust, I was regretting my actions. Desperate times…

Desperate measures. Thankfully, I had this shirt to hand in my normal bag. Andy whipped out one of his bandanas from Phuket Old Town.

(Sitting here now, in mid-May with hair that has been growing untamed for four months, I’m very jealous I didn’t purchase some bandanas…)

With a few more years knocked off my life, we arrived down a dingy alley at the bus departure point. We waited here for an hour, ate some egg fried rice ($2 – definitely the cheapest meal available in Shitsville) and finally boarded our minibus.

Great news! It had no air-con and the door was broken. The guy had to put all his strength into it to open it.

But finally, after picking up some grumpy French people at Serendipity Pier (where we should have been picked up), we bumped our way out of Shitsville.

The 61ish mile drive to Kampot is actually quite nice. On the way you see the imposing Dâmrei (Elephant) Mountains, as well as Vietnam’s largest island, Phu Quoc. Well, we may have been banned from visiting, but at least I got to SEE Vietnam…

We arrived in Kampot at dusk.

It was quiet. Unnaturally quiet. We’d never been, but we could tell. With its proximity to the Preah Monivong Bokor National Park in the Elephant Mountains, Kampot is usually a top traveller destination in Cambodia. Across the river, there were party boats with flashing neon lights and blaring music (one chimed out a strange “Happy Birthday” song, nothing like the one we all know), but still, the absence of singing, or cheering, or whoop-whoops, was deafening.

We checked into our party hostel, the Mad Monkey. It was empty, but for a handful of people sat in the bar and by the pool, in absolute silence.

We left the morgue to find something to eat. In Happy Smile Pizza we found some great wifi and great deals. As well as pizza they did some Mexican food.

We like Mexican food. Fed up of feeling funny from all the oily food we were eating, Andy decided to begin Andy’s Vegetarian Challenge. If he could give up meat and fish for 7 whole days, I’d buy him a beer.

First up, a veggie burrito. EASY. I had a pork one and it was incredible. We made Happy Smile Pizza our go-to place for Kampot food.

After food and beer, we went for a nosey and found a roundabout.

Durian Roundabout. People were taking pictures of it, so I’m guessing it’s famous, or it’s a mini landmark of Kampot.

The next morning, we went for breakfast at our favourite joint.

Andy’s veggie omelette with a whole baguette as a side.

One of Kampot’s biggest attractions is the Arcadia Waterpark, just up the river that runs through the city. However, Andy had developed an ear infection so we couldn’t go. But apparently it’s brill, so if you ever randomly find yourself in Kampot, give it a go for us!

After sitting by the empty pool for a few hours we went for a wander. We found a proper local market – THE thing you look for when you go travelling. Inside, people were shouting and trading goods – mostly live seafood. There were fish and shrimp and squid and live crabs everywhere.

However, there was a mood. Though at the time neither of us mentioned it, later on Andy and I agreed that walking through that cramped, tightly packed market was the first time we’d felt unwelcome. The locals weren’t hostile, more wary and suspicious. And we knew why.

Corona.

Andy bought some bananas (off a lady who was friendly tbf) and we made our way back to the hostel, spitting out banana seeds.

I found a petrol station with an interesting offer.

Mmm gimme some lube.

That night there was a bit of a party at Mad Monkey’s rooftop bar. We weren’t interested until we heard there was FREE BEER for 30 minutes. We ran up the stairs.

There were so few people there. The rep told us that this event the week before had hosted around 70 people. Tonight there were about 20, if that. But the low numbers made us all more sociable and we enjoyed a round of music bingo with free shots on offer for the best air guitars and singers.

The party was moving on and Andy begged me to come out. He had a fair point that, with rumours of public spaces closing, this could be our last night out in Asia. I had been content with our three hours on the rooftop bar, but I was dragged out.

The rep sorted us some tuk-tuks and took us to “a great local bar he always goes to.”

It was the smallest bar I’ve ever visited. It was more pavement than pub.

We bought some Klangs but I was quickly bored. There was nowhere else to go, the streets were devoid of people and there was nothing to do other than stand in the road watching dogs walk by. Thankfully, we soon left.

And that was that! The next morning we left Kampot for Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Penh. We had originally planned to stay here for a few days, but with the pandemic worsening and more borders closing around the world, we literally left on the day we arrived. It was a shame, cos the Mad Monkey hostel in Phnom Penh had a lot more people in it. It actually felt like a party hostel. But our new plan was to race back to Thailand as soon as possible. If borders were closing, we wanted to be stuck in Thailand over Cambodia.

Before we left, we found a pretty decent pizza place (veggie for Andy of course) and even found a Krispy Kremes. Some gooooood eating.

We had a nap and checked out of our hostel at 11pm and tuk-tuk’d across the capital.

We whizzed past the Independence Monument with no time to stop.

I’m a bit gutted we couldn’t stay in Phnom Penh for longer than a few hours. I really wanted to visit the Killing Fields and pay my respects to the million lives taken by the Khmer Rouge regime…

But I suppose this gives me a reason to return to Cambodia one day… We caught our night bus which housed a pretty spectacular lightshow…

This night bus was a proper sleeper bus with very narrow beds. Andy and I snuggled very tightly as our driver took us to the border. Au revoir, Cambodia…