Sihanoukville. Don’t go.
There. Blog done. Goodnight everyone.
That could honestly be my review of such an awful place. Tbf though, it’s not ENTIRELY their fault…
Apparently, years ago, Sihanoukville was the place to go in Cambodia; a beautiful seaside resort. Cambodia doesn’t have much coastline, and being the foremost seaside hotspot for tourists did the city well in the short term – but those days are over. The place has been ‘over-touristed’, picked dry like the Kevin the Carrot shelf 10 minutes after an Aldi store opens.
The internet still suggests a stop in Sihanoukville to those travelling through Cambodia, particularly because it’s the gateway to the Koh Rong archipelago. But more recent posts are increasingly urging people to simply pass through without stopping. Indeed, during our first week in Cambodia, fellow tourists had acted incredulously when Andy and I told them we were spending two nights in Sihanoukville – or as it was more commonly known, ‘Shitsville’. They told us the roads were dug up; it was dirty, dusty and expensive. Surely, we thought, it wasn’t that bad…
Our journey from Battambang to Sihanoukville was an arduous one. We were picked up from our hostel at half 7ish and taken to the capital, Phnom Penh. We waited by a very busy intersection, surrounded by parked up minibuses belching out hot exhaust fumes. It wasn’t pleasant. Eventually we were allowed on a bus and we began the final leg.
Leaving the capital city at around 4pm meant we got stuck in rush hour. And it’s awful over there. Motorbikes (some driven by kids) abandon the road and get stuck in their own traffic jams on the footpaths.
We were supposed to arrive in Sihanoukville at 6pm but were dropped off at a dodgy bus depot at around 9pm. Here we were mugged by local tuk-tuk drivers. We were so tired and grouchy and initially I didn’t want to get in a tuk-tuk, I wanted to order a Grab (like an Uber) but a guy offered us a trip to our hostel for $2 each. I even put my fingers up to him to confirm he meant TWO DOLLARS. He nodded and we got in.
First impressions: OMFG. Even in the dark of the night, it was obvious how dusty and dirty this place was.
Our lovely tuk-tuk driver pulled up beside a massive pile of dirt and a stream of actual sewage. I remember laughing in my head, thinking “imagine if we were staying here!”
Anyway, he got out and told us we had arrived. Jeez.
He asked for $16. You can imagine how we responded to that. Something in Andy broke. The stresses of the horrible journey and the dismal destination and the holiday-long wariness of being conned finally got to him. He impolitely made it very clear we were not paying $16. I tried to explain to the guy that I would have got a Grab if he’d said $16 to begin with. Extortionate. The near 320-mile trip from Battambang to Sihanoukville had cost about the same. Eventually, Andy just walked off and this guy shouted, angrily after him. I thought he was gonna attack him. FINALLY, we settled on $8.
If I’m being kind, the guy was only trying to milk us cos times were incredibly hard. If I’m being factual, the guy was a prick.
REASON #1 TO AVOID SIHANOUKVILLE: The tuk-tuk drivers are conmen.
Over 14 hours after leaving one hostel, we arrived in our next one.
The next morning we went for a wander.
Our hostel, the Onederz Hostel, is hidden down an alley behind that mountain of mud. Andy had chosen it because it was close to Sihanoukville’s famous Golden Lions roundabout.
And with that, our list of things to see in Sihanoukville was completed.
REASON #2 TO AVOID SIHANOUKVILLE: It stinks of shit and it looks like shit.
The place looks like a warzone. Often we had to navigate our way around streams of excrement. In recent years, the Chinese have pumped a LOT of money into Sihanoukville, rebuilding roads and infrastructure, and throwing up casinos all over the place. All signage in the area have Mandarin translations rather than English. But rather than build the city in stages, the Chinese are doing everything at once – or at least, they were.
Diggers were empty. Building sites, unmanned. There are more closed or half-built buildings than there are functioning ones. Something called the coronavirus has halted everything, with the Chinese recalling all their workers. For a city with so many massive sky-scrapers, it was lacking in people.
Sihanoukville is a ghost-city.
Even the elephants here are wrong. Impressive though this sculpture is, those are African elephants, not Asian elephants. Perhaps that’s what the sculptor was going for – I don’t know. I don’t understand a lot of things here.
REASON #3 TO AVOID SIHANOUKVILLE: There is NOTHING to do.
We spent the vast majority of our two nights there in the hostel. At least they had a pool!
Hmm. I’ll give that a miss. I’m guessing it’s dirty cos the air is so dusty here.
REASON #4 TO AVOID SIHANOUKVILLE: You can’t even go for a swim.
No pool, nothing to do outside and air that is probably un-breathable. The current state of Europe had meant “quarantine” was a word we had heard a lot of in recent weeks. Staying in Shitsville makes you feel like you’re in quarantine.
In fairness, our hostel was great. Definitely the best thing about the city. The staff were helpful and jolly. The food was decent and there was a nice sitting area where you could watch Netflix. We met a few other stranded travellers, all desperate to get out of Sihanoukville. One was called Francesca and she lived in Andy’s neck of the woods. She joined us for tea that night.
Love inhaling dust, me.
There are loads of Pizza Company restaurants all over Thailand and Cambodia. Andy and I had put off visiting one cos we’d been eating at cheaper places, but we had read about a 2-4-1 deal and fancied a treat.
But guess what. That deal did not exist in Sihanoukville. The waitress didn’t have a clue what we were on about. But cos we had walked so far, and seen barely any other restaurants, we stayed and ate over-expensive pizza. $10 for a 9 inch pizza. Urgh. We felt bad for Francesca, cos we’d dragged her here.
REASON #5 TO AVOID SIHANOUKVILLE: Food is SO expensive, everywhere.
I’m gonna end on two good things. The only good things about this place.
Firstly, we found a shop that, I don’t know why, sells Monster.
The only place in SE Asia that you can buy this American energy drink is a Chinese supermarket in southern Cambodia. Makes sense.
Secondly, there are some AWESOME burgers at a place called YFC next to Serendipity Pier. Truly awesome – one of, if not, the best burger I ate in Asia.
We were at the pier to catch a boat to Koh Rong Sanloem. It was here we saw Serendipity Beach for the first time. It actually looks attractive with its white sands and spots of jungle reaching out into the waves. But the litter, and the city behind the sands, completely ruin it.
Perhaps in a few years, the Chinese will have turned Sihanoukville into a Cambodian ‘Las Vegas-by-the-Sea’. But for now, it is definitely more of a ‘Shitsville’, and you’re better off holidaying in a landfill site.
#VidOnTour 