The Most Northern of North Coasts – The NC500 Pt 2

Despite Joel’s fears, the ocean did not sweep our van away in the night as we slept near Keiss Harbour. We were still five men in a motorhome, alive and rested but very smelly.

We had not yet figured out how to turn on the hot water in the motorhome (and being men, we just assumed it must be broken), meaning we were all craving a shower.

We drove 8 miles back the way we came to Wick, where we visited yet another Tesco for supplies and shits, before heading to the East Caithness Community Facility for showers. £3 and a lot of lovely hot water later, we all felt like men reborn.

VID’S TOP TIP: Community centres are a good place to shower on the NC500.

Back on van we resumed our journey north, until the land began to run out. We arrived at the UK’s most northerly mainland settlement, John O’ Groats, and headed to Duncansby Head – the most north-easterly point on the island of Great Britain.

This bench offered a great view of Stroma and the Orkney Islands.

After taking in the view, Joel and Rob decided to return to Rimor whilst Brendan, Andy and I went for a little wander. We did not know where, but we noticed a path that headed over a brow.

On this occasion, curiosity thrilled the cat; before us we found the Stacks of Duncansby.

Well, I say “found”. They were found before us of course, but we didn’t know they were there. Again, in true T.W.A.T.S. fashion we had not researched our destination.

I’m flying, Andy!

As well as the Stacks, we saw some seals. But suddenly it started to rain, so we ran back to the motorhome.

Next on our list was John O’ Groats itself. Whilst Joel, Andy, Brendan and I went for a wander, Rob remained on Rimor to make a sandwich.

A personal highlight of mine was seeing the signpost. I’ve always wanted to do the Lands End to John O’ Groats road trip, but seeing the finish line was good enough for now. As you can see, the sign is plastered with stickers from all over the world.

Here’s a shout out to Andy who, in his tartan pants and flat-cap looks the ABSOLUTE part. He looks set for a three day fishing trip around Orkney.

Now here’s a call-back to a previous blog. In April, Brendan and I went on our own Highland tour, and much to Brendan’s dismay, we failed to find any Clan Fraser merch. When I saw this Fraser mug in the John O’ Groats gift shop, I had to buy it for him. Outlander season 5 coming soon.

We had a wander around the harbour. There were colourful buildings on the shoreline that reminded me of Balamory. Andy then got himself stuck on a wall.

Fortunately, Rob had joined us, and the giant was able to bring him down.

It was time to leave, and our next destination was 14 miles west at Dunnet Head – the mainland’s most northern point.

Here we got a taste of what was to come on the NC500. Until now we had enjoyed single-carriage, even dual-carriage roads. But the single-track roads had arrived, and they’re especially daunting in a big old motorhome.

Dunnet Head. At this point, I was confident in stating there was no more northerly bungalow on wheels on the island of Great Britain.

We went for a walk behind the lighthouse. It was nice to think that the northernmost men in Britain were a bunch of T.W.A.T.S. Andy, (being Andy) decided he needed this limelight for himself and scaled a wall.

He looked back and knew he was facing over 61 million southerners.

On the hill beside the lighthouse there are the remnants of WWII fortifications that overlook Scapa Flow. We went for a look, and to our astonishment, found that atop a hill, on a peninsular, by the coast and at the northernmost tip of Scotland, it was pretty windy.

T’was a perfect place to impersonate Michael Jackson.

And to leap into the wind.

Onwards, and our next destination was Castletown beach, as suggested by Joel – and being in Dunnet Bay, it was only 15 minutes away. We had timed it well – the tide was out and the sun was out.

There was a stream, and I enjoyed chilling on a rock whilst waiting for the others. They were all donning suitable footwear. I was envious.

Once again, I was rueing forgetting my walking boots. There were a number of streams crossing the beach, and I had to really plan my route so as to maintain an element of dryness in my Converses. But cos I’m a bloody clever guy, I forged a route and made some epic leaps to arrive at the dunes.

Andy and Joel climbed to the top of one and raced each other down. Then, Brendan joined them in a race to the top. Throughout, I was happy just to chill.

We traipsed sand back into the van and headed off again. As we left the county of Caithness and entered Sutherland, the country started to get wilder, and more akin with that image you have in your mind when you think of the Highlands. Untamed, barren, foreboding.

Here’s me at the Kyle of Tongue, and the scenery was definitely foreboding. As the others looked in awe at the mountains, I enjoyed reminding them with smugness that Brendan and I had climbed an even higher one…

A long causeway and a bridge cross the Kyle of Tongue, and there are a number of spots to park up and enjoy the views like we did. BTW. ‘Kyle’ is Scottish for ‘narrow sea channel’, whereas ‘Tongue’ is the place name. I don’t know what that means.

The time was pressing on; it was nearly 7pm. An hour later we arrived in Durness – our stopover point for the end of Day 2. As a treat, we booked ourselves in at Sango Sands Oasis campsite.

This meant we could hook up to some power, use the onsite showers and more importantly, empty the van’s loo – which contained three day’s worth of five men’s piss and one baby Andy.

The secret beauties of motorhome life.

Whilst Chef Andy and Joel prepared tea, Brendan and I went for a stroll.

Sango Sands is very pretty – it was just a shame that rain had blown in. But still, I could see that in sunshine it would make a stunning beach.

There was only so much wind and drizzle we could deal with so we headed back to the van where Chef Andy was serving up.

‘Chicken Sausage Surprise’ by Andy. It was delicious.

After tea, Joel introduced us to a game he had been itching to play since we all met up in Bury: Balderdash. It’s kinda like Would I Lie To You, where you have to bluff your opponents into thinking your made up fact is genuine. It appeals to creative minds and I enjoyed it, but others (Rob) did not. With beers drank, moods irritable and Joel’s heart ripped in two, we resigned to our beds.

Soooooo I vlogged our trip on my Instagram account – and here are the first few days of our trip in moving picture form. Enjoy.

Still here? Well, I realise that bench photo at the start is an absolutely perfect group photo – but for the fact that Rob was taking the picture and is thus not in it. So here’s an amended version.

Can you spot?

1. Hawkers sunglasses
2. David’s phone
3. Robert Forshaw