Last summer, Brendan Clayton and I completed the Yorkshire Three Peak Challenge and raised a few hundred quid for the British Heart Foundation. It was 24 miles of sweltering hiking and it nearly killed me. So this year we decided to raise money for the BHF by walking 9 miles along Hadrian’s Wall. Progression.
The idea wasn’t born entirely out of laziness. Lethargy was indeed a factor, but we also chose a simpler challenge in the hope of actually bringing along some other people. We are The Walking And Talking Society, and I’m sure you’ve noticed that really we should be called The David And Brendan And Occasionally A Friend Go Walking Society – or DABAOFGWS. 9 miles is definitely more attractive than 24 miles. I threw the idea out and managed to sign up Jess Ayrton, Rob Hedge and Claire Melia. Brendan bagged an Andy Cox.
T.W.A.T.S. Assemble! How nice is it to have and actual SOCIETY at one of these things? As is the norm at these things, BHF gave us all a t-shirt to wear.
So here we all are at Lanercost Priory in Cumbria – the base for the day’s walk. It’s owned by English Heritage and I quite fancied a mooch around but today was not the day for mooching. We had a bus to catch.
We waited a while for the last bus. Not what you’d call a flying start.
Lanercost was not the beginning, but the end. Quite smart really, to make the finish point the place you park your car. However, despite the fact I literally made out just two sentences ago that Lanercost was the end; it wasn’t actually the end for us. The bus was driving us 18 miles down the Wall to Housesteads Roman Fort in Northumberland and we would be walking halfway back. There was an option to walk the whole 18 miles but again, I draw you to the aforementioned points about wanting friends to actually come along. 9 miles was plenty enough, particularly for those not so experienced as Brendan and me.
The bus was stifling. Everyone was pretty wrapped up in their outdoor clothes. We were all very thankful to finally alight at Housesteads, where Brendan and I had a photo with some bona fide 1900 year old men.
One is a Roman and so I assume the other on the right is a Scot?
After a brief safety talk, we set off.
Our number bibs had a chip on the back that would record our hike times. But as regular readers will know, The Walking And Talking Society never take things too seriously.
David’s got stile. Just ignore that open gate beside me. Also, let me just add that this isn’t Hadrian’s Wall, otherwise the Scots wouldn’t have had any issues surmounting it. We were still walking up the hill and hadn’t actually reached the Wall itself yet. But soon enough, we did.
I was overcome with the history. Oh! The history! Also, shout out to my bed-hair taking on the appearance of a widow’s peak – it’s not actually the case!
Now, I hadn’t done much research into this walk and nor did it seem had my teammates. We were under the impression that this would be a fairly flat and gentle stroll. It wasn’t. The Wall follows the undulations of the country and the country was pretty, well, undulating.
At least the weather was good. The forecast was a day-full of cloud, with showers incessantly possible. But for now, it was dry and the sun was even poking through, meaning the removal of jackets.
Just over a mile in and we started to descend towards Crag Lough, where a swarm of strange flies awaited us. They were pretty big and I didn’t (and still don’t) recognise them. But they liked me. Too much.
Thanks to Andy for exclaiming in disgust that I was “covered in them” – it was like being in a horror movie. My yellow jacket, conqueror of the UK’s tallest mountain, was defeated by Hadrian’s Wall and it’s army of flies who f***ing loved it. Even when I tried to shake them off, they clung on. I accidentally squashed a few as I took it off. Ew.
We walked through a wooded section before reaching the two-mile point.
The Sycamore Gap. Whilst walking through I thought to myself “this looks like that scene on the wall from Robin Hood”. A little while later, when 4G returned, I discovered that is was the setting from that bloody scene on the wall in Robin Hood. Crazy to think I’ve walked the same ground as Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman. Crazier to think that in that movie, Robin Hood walked from Dover to Nottingham via Northumberland in little more than a day.
At the three-mile point we reached our first water station and stopped for a break. I helped Andy undress out of his trousers and into his shorts by holding up a towel to stop passing children from seeing his underpants. Soon enough, we were back on the walk.
We reached a place called Windshields. It’s the highest point on Hadrian’s Wall. After a quick photo, we continued on.
The walk is very much the same throughout. Lots of ups and downs. Every time you get to the top of a hill you see another one or two in the distance.
The six-mile checkpoint was an old quarry by the name of Cawfield. A few walkers were having a rest here as there were toilets and a water station, but T.W.A.T.S. were on a roll.
We just ploughed through and onwards.
We entered a wood. It was very green.
By now, the team just wanted to finish. Andy summoned an inner strength from somewhere and bolted ahead. Jess and Rob were not too far behind him, followed by Brendan who was typically slowing himself down by taking photos. Then at the rear came me and Claire who was struggling with blisters. Against all my natural T.W.A.T.S. instincts to leave her behind, I decided to keep her company as the rest of the group soldiered on. Even though she told me to leave her. Drama queen.
Towards the front, Brendan had decided on a sprint to the finish line at Walltown Quarry Country Park, overtaking Jess and Rob. Out front, Andy could hear the running Yorkshireman behind him and, unwilling to accept defeat, also ran to the line. A few minutes later, Jess and Rob finished.
A few more minutes later, Claire and I arrived.
And for completing the hike, we were awarded with some shiny golden medals!
Brendan and I have two now. Just saying.
Those who had completed the walk were entitled to a free hot drink. I asked for a cold drink instead. The guy said no. Bit shit, that. Why would I want a HOT drink after a 9 mile hike?? It was a warm day ffs. I did not enjoy my scolding mocha. The sweat it caused did not cool me down (that old wives’ tale).
We got back on the shuttle bus to take us back to Lanercost Priory. We passed the Wall numerous times on the way and saw many a BHF walker doing the 18 mile hike. Part of me was jealous that they were doing it properly, and part of me didn’t give a shit and was happy to be in this comfy seat.
At Lanercost, we bid farewell to Jess and Rob, as Andy, Brendan, Claire and David (ABCD haha) headed into Brampton to find a pub. It has become tradition that, at the end of the day, The Walking And Talking Society replace the calories lost on a hike with pub grub. It’s probably my favourite tradition.
Brampton reminded me of Royston Vasey from The League of Gentlemen. It was eerily quiet (probably cos it was Sunday) and looked like a postcard an evacuee would send to his mum in WWII.
We found an inn called Howard Arms. Inside, Charles Dickens was all over the walls, because Charles Dickens once slept here.
The Sunday lunch was very nice, as was the pudding. I did intend on taking a photo of the food like Grammer Girl but I was so hungry I forgot. So here’s a photo of some empty plates and a medal.
Calories restored with interest, we headed home. Later that night, BHF released the times and we were very shocked to see that we had all come in near the top.
Curse my chivalry! Andy was very boastful about clocking the 12th fastest time. I’d have beaten him if I really wanted to. The first time one of our T.W.A.T.S. challenges has been timed… Next time I’ll take it seriously.
ANYHOW. In the end, we collectively raised around £542 for the British Heart Foundation. Not bad for a little 9 mile stroll. If you fancy donating a few very late pounds, the link is here!
But from now on, all the money I save will be going towards the Get David to Asia Fund…
x
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